Jobs provide income, a sense of self-worth, and a way to contribute to the community. As adults we know this, but often we protect our children from this valuable experience for too long. If your teenage children do not understand the concept of having a job themselves already, introduce the idea that they can earn money for some of their personal expenses themselves. Regular jobs can begin when children are middle-school aged and older, and as long as they do not interfere with school and some time to socialize, are excellent training for responsible behavior. And jobs help with the demanding work of parenting in more ways than one, as your children encounter other adults who have firm expectations for their behavior. The logical consequence for failing to behave responsibly in a job is loss of the job – and a couple of those experiences early on may save your child much grief later. Appropriate jobs for middle-school age children include babysitting, yard-work, washing cars, pet care, and even selling homemade crafts. Their pride in earning an income will far outweigh the disadvantage they may perceive in having to pay for more of their own expenses. Watching them develop a strong sense of independence will reward you many times over for the times you have to drive them to work.
How to Get a Job: Tips for Teens and Parents
The first real job is an important one because it gives the teenager a sense, right or wrong, of what other jobs will be like. While most of the time it works well to let teenagers be as independent as possible in choosing work experiences, it is a good idea to investigate job opportunities with your teenager for the first job. After you have scanned the newspaper together, checked community boards, and asked friends in your networks if they know of jobs, it is time to assess the opportunities. Good questions to consider include:
- What kinds of skills will the job require? Are they skills that would be useful in future jobs?
- What are the expectations for the work? Does your teenager believe he or she can handle the requirements of the job?
- If this is a job in a business or formal workplace, what are the coworkers and the boss like? Are they likely to expose your teenager to drugs, alcohol, excessive profanity, or other undesirable behaviors?
- How will your teenager get to the jobsite?
- Is the pay adequate, regular, and assured?
- Is your teenager excited about this job?
Let your teenager know that the successful interview will go well because he or she is the right person for the job, and is able to be honest, open, and relaxed during the conversation with the hiring supervisor.
If your younger teenager is looking for part-time work, and is too young for most formal jobs, a well-designed poster advertising his or her skills in yard-work, childcare, pet-sitting, etc., can often bring in offers of work. One enterprising teen designed her own business cards for her childcare services and delivered them to all the neighbors with small children. Many cities now offer training for teens in childcare safety, and the certificate for successfully completing such training acts as a good reference.
How to Keep a Job: Tips To Pass on to Your Teen
Most parents have successfully held more than one job by the time their teens are ready to look for work themselves. You know almost instinctively the basic rules, both spoken and unspoken, for keeping a job. But despite their internet savvy, many teenagers today are surprisingly innocent of the expectations of the working world. In order to avoid sounding like a nagging or interfering parent, it is critical to make your suggestions in a formal, special setting. When your teenager has successfully found a job, celebrate by taking him or her to lunch.. During dessert, after you have told your teenager how proud you are of this important move towards adulthood and independence, you can tell your child how much you appreciate their move towards greater responsibility. Explain that you have made a list of the tips that have helped you and other people you know keep jobs over the years. Present the list, and only discuss or comment on it if your teenager initiates the discussion. He or she may wad it up in his or her pocket, but will most likely look it over carefully in private. Some points to include:
- Be on time. It impresses the supervisor if you are five minutes early.
- Dress neatly and appropriately for the work.
- Speak politely and do not use profane language, even if others do.
- Listen carefully to instructions so that the supervisor does not have to repeat them.
- Figure out who key personnel are (such as administrative assistants) and go out of your way to be polite and thoughtful towards them.
- Give advance notice if you have to miss a day or leave early for any reason.
- People who are good team members and work well with others get promoted.
Working Safe: How a Parent Can Check out the Workplace
Unfortunately, not all work places that accept teenagers are appropriate for teenagers. As a parent, you can and should check out the places your child works. It is best to do this before the child starts working there or even applies, but some work places seem fine at first, until an abusive supervisor or bullying co-worker makes him or herself known. Find out what the staff turnover rate is and talk to current staff members if possible. If many people are quitting, a problem exists. Ask other business owners in the neighborhood of the business where your child wants to work. Take hints of problems seriously. Visit the business or workplace yourself, even if your teenager objects. It is part of the job of parenting. If your teenager takes a job that goes sour, offer to talk, and let them know that it is okay to look for a better job. Your teenager may need you or another adult to act as a sounding board while he or she figures out how to handle the situation.
Entering the working world is a huge step for your child, and for you. Suddenly, your role as a parent shifts from being the primary supervisor to being a support person while your child is working. When all goes smoothly the transition can be wonderful. Besides the obvious monetary rewards, the potential for the greater rewards of increased self-esteem and responsiblity are apparently clear. Even if there are a few bumps and mishaps, you and your child can use these experiences as a time to discuss and eventually laugh over the mistakes together, and learn to move forward.
To learn more, see FamilyIQ courses: Building Self-Esteem in Your Child, Parent as Role Model, Raising Responsible Children
Author Catherine Knott, Ph.D., teaches Anthropology and Sociology for the University of Alaska on the Kenai Peninsula. She has a Ph.D. in Anthropology, Natural Resources, and Education from Cornell University and a B.A. from Yale University. Catherine has worked in International Development overseas and in the United States for many years. She and her three children enjoy the wilderness, as well as gardening, art, and writing, from their rural home in Alaska.
